Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Happy Birthday To..............Me!

 So, today was my birthday. I'm one. My parents keep saying how old I look, but based on the pictures I've seen, I look like a baby, so logic would suggest that I'm not really old at all. On the other hand, I've seen pictures of my brother, Brendan, when he was one and he actually did look old. Imagine Gordon B. Hinckley being about a foot and a half tall and that's pretty much what he looked like; same hair style and everything. Ironically, as Brendan has grown older, he actually looks younger. Not me, though, I just look like a baby.

Being my first birthday there were a few things that I didn't quite understand. One, I got lots of presents from my parents and grandparents. My parents said all the presents were for me. The cards the gifts came with also said the presents were for me. But then Brendan said all the toys were for "big boys" and that only he could play with them. In fact, as I'm writing this Brendan is sitting inside a boat (upside down Little Tikes table) sailing to "Dream Island" and he's taking all my new toys with him. Sure looks like fun. I can't wait for his birthday, then maybe I'll get to play with his new toys.

The second thing I didn't understand was why I don't get to eat cake for dinner every night. Holy crap, it was delicious! Why would I ever want to eat anything else. Let's see, the past year I normally ate pureed lasagna, pureed sweet potatoes, pureed carrots, pureed horse meat, and other blended fruit medleys. Those have all been fine and I'll admit a nice bowl of equestrian meat can be quite satisfying after a hard day of playing and napping. But seriously, cake is good. It's very good and I don't think I'll go back to eating that other stuff for many years to come.
Other noteworthy items from my birthday include the insurance adjusters coming by to make sure I didn't take my afternoon nap. Apparently hurricane Irene caused some wind damage to the roof of our house. It opened up some holes in the roof, let some rain in, and caused a nice sink hole in the ceiling of Mom and Dad's room. They're a little worried that birds and squirrels might start sneaking into the house. Personally, I'm hoping they do. Anyways, the insurance guys came in the house, walked on the roof a little, and I overheard one of the guys saying that the sheathing on our house is incredibly thin. He thought he was going to fall through the roof at every step. Good to know. Now that I'm one year old my parents said one of my new privileges is being able to play on the roof with Brendan. We'll just have to be extra careful now. In the end, I'm just glad no one fell on me while I was in my crib. Granted, the guy might have deserved to fall. He came over on my birthday, woke me after napping five minutes, didn't leave a present, and didn't even sing me a song. I'm not saying I'm bitter, but I'm not saying I'll ever forget this, either.

In closing, I think it's important to recognize other special people celebrating their birthday today - The great Dmitry Medvedev, leader of the Russian Federation turns 46 today. What do you possibly get the guy who leads the Russian Federation?  A Pillow Pet, perhaps?
 The Lone Ranger turns 97 today. I wonder what Tonto got him? Maybe a new Bedazzler so he can add more rhinestones to his holster.
 Lastly, but definitely not leastly, the late Amy Winehouse would have turned 28. Only the good die young. I wonder what rehab in heaven is like.
So happy birthday to me, to the entire Russian Federation, the Lone Ranger, and to the girl that looks a cross between Sloth from Goonies and Elvira. Turning one feels pretty good. So happy birthday to all... and to all a good night.

1 comment:

  1. Chris, it's good to know that you're feeding your child pureed horsemeat. I love your writing:). And I can't believe kids can eat cake when they turn 1. It sounds so young!