Sunday, May 10, 2009

Beware of the Birthday Bandit

Carrie, it's your birthday, happy birthday, Carrie (sung to the "Lisa, it's your birthday" song from The Simpsons. Carrie, as pictured above making something in her kitchen, just had a birthday today. She had to share it with Mother's Day, which unfortunately means instead of getting treated like a queen on two separate days, she just got it all in one lump sum. Better luck next year.

Here are a few little known facts about Carrie. When we were younger she invented the "Birthday Bandit," a fictional character designed to scare Johnny -B-Fro into thinking that a robber was going to come on his birthday and steal all of his presents. The character was so believable that it left poor Fro in tears. I of course went along with it, but Carrie gets all the credit for his creation. I considered posting an artist's rendering of the Birthday Bandit, but I realized it would be far too frightening for many of our viewers out there and this is, after all, a family oriented publishing, so I will not be posting it...yet.

Another time, and in hindsight I've realized that most of my childhood memories involve Carrie and I devising ways to scare or torment our brother, Johnny-B, but anyway, she wanted to scare Johnny by hiding on top of a counter in his bedroom and jumping off of it in front of him when he unsuspectingly walked through the door. So, the plan went into action and Johnny walked through the door and Carrie jumped off the counter and yelled and then landed directly on top of Johnny's new guitar that was laying on the floor (I seem to recall being on the counter and jumping too, but I didn't break anything when I landed). I don't know if Johnny-B cried more from being scared or from seeing his guitar destroyed into hundreds of pieces right in front of his eyes. Either way, it was a hilariously traumatizing experience.

Lastly, I could write anecdote after anecdote of Carrie's hi jinxes, but prior to leaving for my mission I left explicit directions regarding all of my possessions that I left behind, such as my guitar, clothes and CDs. The instructions were simple, "DON'T TOUCH." After I was thousands of miles away in the urban jungles of El Salvador I received photos from Carrie portraying Watson (R.I.P. little buddy) wearing my clothes and playing my guitar. I never knew Watson could play guitar, but I guess he was pretty good and I also have to admit that Watson looked good in my hats and sweatshirts, but nonetheless, my rules were violated.

Anyways, I think Carrie turned 45 today, give or take a decade and few years, but what better present could a sister get than a loving tribute from her amazing brother.
Word to your mother, Carrie.

Chris The Hiss


  1. 45? That's just mean.

    I thought of a word that I am going to work into some of my future comments. The word is intended to make you think of something unique about Chris. Once you read the word and think of that unique attribute, you are supposed to laugh.

    Only a few people will understand, but for those who do, reading the word will have been totally worth it.

    The word is "bugle."

  2. Many thanks for a badical tribute!Perhaps I will have to start blog so that I can pay tribute to you in July!